The Dreadful Work of Homemaking

Over at Carolyn Mahaney's (along with her daughters) excellent blog you'll find ongoing conversations with women, by women, for women on the joys and struggles of biblical womanhood. They have a few posts with some great quotes from Chesterton from a great little piece he wrote called The Emancipation of Domesticity. Here's a sample that Tori and I thought profound and encouraging:

"[W]hen people begin to talk about this domestic duty as not merely difficult but trivial and dreary, I simply give up the question. For I cannot with the utmost energy of imagination conceive what they mean. When domesticity, for instance, is called drudgery, all the difficulty arises from a double meaning in the word. If drudgery only means dreadfully hard work, I admit the woman drudges in the home, as a man might drudge [at his work]. But if it means that the hard work is more heavy because it is trifling, colorless and of small import to the soul, then as I say, I give it up; I do not know what the words mean…. I can understand how this might exhaust the mind, but I cannot imagine how it could narrow it. How can it be a large career to tell other people's children [arithmetic], and a small career to tell one's own children about the universe? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone, and narrow to be everything to someone? No; a woman's function is laborious, but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute. I will pity Mrs. Jones for the hugeness of her task; I will never pity her for its smallness."

Consider Chesterton's words the next time you roll your eyes at a woman who doesn't 'work' but 'stays at home'. Remember this quote at your temptation to think disparagingly of the woman who schools her children at home rather than ply her trade in the marketplace as if this were some ignoble vocation. Or just remember God's Word,

"Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, anot malicious gossips, nor be enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being bsubject to their own husbands, cthat the word of God may not be dishonored." (Titus 2:3-5)

"So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander." (1 Timothy 5:14)

Daughters of Song

My Mom, Susan Braun, has begun blogging! Many of the women of Four Oaks this summer have discovered what a great teacher of God's Word she is, now you can keep up with her insights, musings, and exhortations in the blogosphere.

Here's her bio and blog description:

I am a 64 year old wife and mother of 5 adult children, grandmother of 13 grandchildren. My only claim to fame is my relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ for 43 of these 64 years. The Lord has allowed me to be involved with the women of his local churches in bible studies, women's ministries in California, Illinois, Florida, Cambridge, England, Nevada, New Jersey and back to Florida in our retirement years. My husband is a pastor, teacher of the word of God, director of Project Hungary - a translation project for Hungarians, and just plain wonderful man. We are members of Four Oaks Church in Tallahassee, Florida. I want to make this a shared blog with my daughters, Robin St. Denis and Kristen, and daughters-in-grace, Karen, Tori and Rachel.

Enjoy and be edified, encouraged, and strengthened through my Mother's work in the Word.

Open Disdain for the Home

The Bayly bros. have a post drawing our attention to the open hostility towards the vocation of homemaking from the Center for Biblical Equality. I encourage you to read Tim's post as well as the very unChristlike and unBiblical piece over at CBE.

Let me quote Scripture again on this issue:

1 Timothy 5:14 So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander.

Titus 2:3 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4 Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

I have a post here that defends the godly and biblical priority of building and working in the home for wives and mothers. I will not go into great detail here as to the various arguments that present exceptions to the general rule of Scripture on this point (such as single motherhood, extraordinary financial situations, various 'ministry' oriented vocations outside the home, working outside the home in different seasons of life, etc.). It is one thing to argue for the validity of working outside the home, it is quite another to mock and disdain those who do (with strong biblical warrant for their choice, which cannot necessarily be said for those who choose vocation outside the home at the expense of childrearing).

Saved by Submission

You'll remember about a year ago I blogged about the couple in our church family who wanted me to marry them in the bride to be's home church. I was forbidden to officiate the wedding in the church if we used our vows which have the woman pledge to honor her husband 'in loving submission'. God worked all things together for good in the situation. But, of course, nothing so good as glorifying Himself in the salvation of the bride's father. I had Kelly's Dad send me his account of God's goodness to him through Paul's words in Ephesians 5:22. He sent me this testimony that he shared at a recent men's gathering in his new church. Read it and praise the goodness of God who works in ways we could NEVER imagine. And, thank God for His Word. Even, especially, the hard bits like Ephesians 5.

I will probably ramble, but I will give this a try. I am going to put into words what I got up and spoke about at our men's trip in front of 90 people I did not know.

Each night they had a couple of people get up and give their testimony, and then open it up to anyone who wanted to talk about anything or ask for prayers for themselves or others. I really felt the urge to talk the first night, but I was afraid. That night I prayed for strength to tell my story. The next night when they asked if anyone felt like they wanted to talk my hand shot up. The Holy Spirit was at work.I wanted to tell them how I ended up at Willow Creek and the lessons I have learned because of it. Here is what I said.

When we joined Willow Creek I was asked when I accepted Jesus Christ as my savior.I really did not have a date or a place, I grew up as a child going to Sunday school and church, and have always believed that Jesus died on the cross to save us from sin and give us everlasting life. As I grew up, church became less important and I went on Christmas and Easter and a few other times in between. During this time my daughters began attending youth group at Tuskawilla Methodist Church, attended Bible study and grew in their faith. Kelly, my oldest went to FSU and started with Campus Crusade for Christ , while Carrie wanted to spend 6 months in Kyrgyzstan with her church .I saw the passion in each of them and also my son, who had become involved in the Church band. I became more involved in the Church, went every Sunday and Ushered the Contemporary service each week. We had been members for about 15 years, my wife was on every committee they had, and signed all the pay checks. I was very comfortable now and my faith had grown, mostly because of my children and their faith. But God had a very different plan to wake me up.

When my daughter was to be married, She wanted to get married in the Church that she grew up in, went to youth group and bible study at. She also wanted Erik, who was their Pastor in Tallahassee to perform the service. All the plans were made, reception planned, announcements mailed out and the minister at the Methodist church wanted to look over Kelly and Josh's wedding vows.
They wanted to have Ephesians 5. vs. 22 - 25 in their vows. The Methodist minister said they would have to change up their vows. Many of Kelly and Josh's friends, including Erik tried to talk with Charlie about his decision, we soon found out that he cared more about proving he was right than he cared about the people involved. I believe to this day that most people would have just changed the words and gone on, not my daughter. What she told me was that God wanted the man of the house to be the spiritual leader, and that she wanted him to lead her and she would follow. The man’s part talks about loving your wife and that he would die for her. Charlie told us that even though Paul wrote this letter to the Ephesians, things had changed and you can not take everything in the bible at face value. He said that men and women are equal. No one ever said they were not. This really caused a problem with my wife, she could not listen to him preach any more and lost confidence in the Methodist Church.

Thru Erik, a call was placed to Pete, the pastor at Willow Creek, and the wedding was going to be moved. Erik even paid for the mailing that told everyone invited about the move to a different church.The wedding went of without a hitch. Half of Tuskawilla Methodist Church sat in Willow Creek and watched my daughter get married.

Soon after my wife and I left Tuskawilla Church and looked for another church. We tried a couple but came back to Willow Creek.My next door neighbor is the assistant pastor, and we have known each other for 10 years. Our talks have always been about sports, golf, cigars, cars and a little religion. I really started thinking about Gods plan for me. I told the 90 guys about Kelly going to Barbados, and telling me about this guy that was at a bus stop, and kept looking at them when they were on Campus. Over a period of time, Kelly and Josh talked to the man and he accepted Jesus Christ as his savior. My daughter Carrie has had the same experience in Kyrgyzstan. In my business if you don't close 25% you are not getting it done, yet here were both my daughters spending a month or more talking to 1 person and telling me that that person accepted Christ and it was the greatest thing that had ever happened. They had true joy. I wanted that same joy.

I started going to Sunday School and talking with Mike Bass, a strong Christian, and with Chris and Pete. I think now I am staring to finally get it. What all this has taught me is that God wants me to be the spiritual leader of my house. Even at 51 with 3 grown kids, it is not too late. My wife, my family, and God have been very patient with me. My job is to be more like Kelly and Carrie and be there for people, pray for them, listen to them, and let them know who Jesus is and what he has done in my life.

My wife still laughs when I pray before dinner. She is not making fun of me, she is just so happy that I have started taking my responsibility to heart and trying to be the spiritual head of the house. You see, for all my adult life I never said the prayer before dinner. I am much happier today than before. Work and stress don't bother me as much when I realize that there is so much more in my life. I go to a bible study now and am getting involved in this church than ever before. None of this would have happened, had God not said you need to do more, I am going to show you the way thru others that you love and then you will start to get it. Now Chris and I talk about sports, golf, cigars, cars and God and when I talk to other people now I talk about sports, golf, cigars, cars and God. I had one of my employees who was having problems with their children, that they ought to think about going to church. She moved away but a short time ago she e-mailed me and said they had gone to church for the first time. It is a start. I felt like I had truly done something.

I know that a year ago I would not have stood up in front of 90 guys and profess my faith in God, nor would I have written this. As I have found out, it is never too late, and that God is very patient.

Workers of the Home

I was invited to teach on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood to one of our women's bible studies last week. It was a rather broad and sweeping look at the biblical and theological importance of the whole topic, so I labored long as I often try to do on this rather 'touchy' issue to establish the fundamental principles that we may gather from Scripture. It is then important to set them in their proper theological framework, and then try and make some more 'practical' applications within our contemporary and personal contexts.

Here is a summary statement of the broad testimony of Scripture to Manhood and Womanhood:
God made man male and female in his image. As such, men and women are equal as image bearers. Though equal in essence, or 'ontology' (being), they are nonetheless distinctly different in a variety of ways. These differences, reaching beyond biology and physiology, are God ordained and good. With such 'functional' differences, men and women are the natural and necessary compliments of one another. These functional differences call men to lead and serve as 'heads' of their homes, churches, and even in society at large. The functional differences call women to submit to the biblical headship of their husbands, pastors, and leaders in society. These differences display the glory of God as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. These differences display the glorious and mysterious relationship of Christ the bridegroom and His Church the bride.

Some questions of practical application might be:
What does headship and submission look like on a daily level?
What do we do with abuses of headship? What do we do with the neglect of submission?
What about societal and cultural moves toward an increasingly secular and egalitarian framework for all of life and its implications in the life of the believer and a believing family (from girls wrestling boys at our local high school, to women serving in the armed forces, to the question of women leading the country- which is fast approaching with the real possibility of a female speaker and a female president)?

All good questions. And those who have any biblical and spiritual fortitude should step up and try to answer them honestly. The answers are not inconsequential. Sadly, biblical fortitude is a commodity in scarce supply these days.

The question I often get has to do with women working outside the home. Can or should a woman with children (or without children even) work outside the home? The question, lest you think me a chauvinist dinosaur, finds its impetus in Scripture:

1 Timothy 5:14 So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander.
Titus 2:3 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4 Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

I believe there is room to be biblically faithful to godly womanhood presented in these exhortations in a variety of ways in the given context of your life. I try to counsel folks asking the above question by presenting the principles and biblical foundation, so that each can form godly convictions and apply them rightly in their unique situation. Each one of us will stand before the Lord and answer to Him as stewards of his . I won't answer for you, and you will not answer for me. I think that it is safe to say that many of our decisions surrounding these issues are driven more by worldly concerns and personal desires than by the convictions we have formed based on Scripture.

I'd like to lay down some basic principles that seem to be at the heart of the matter in these letters and throughout the Scriptural call to biblical womanhood. First, let me make an important preliminary point.

Both of these verses are found in what are commonly referred to as the 'pastoral epistles'. The context of these letters are from the Apostle Paul to two young pastors dealing with the struggles, concerns, and issues that face the church (Timothy in Ephesus and Titus in Crete). It simply will not do to write off these passages as 'cultural' and therefore not applicable today. This sort of answer to the 'problem' (as some see it) of Paul's rather archaic notion of good housekeeping is a rather torturous hermeneutic, and I see it thrown around willy nilly on this issue. There are two passages in the NT that Paul calls Timothy to directly exhort women in the church- the widows, and of course, single women are exhorted to marry and 'work in the home'. The older women are to give themselves to teaching and discipling the younger women to be 'rulers' or 'managers' of the home. We must mark well that nowhere in these crucial letters (or in the New Testament) does Paul call women to work outside the home, to pursue vocation outside the home, to find an 'identity' outside the home. He could have done this. It was culturally acceptable in both Ephesus and Crete for women, especially Greek and Roman women, to pursue a 'life' outside the home. But, in fact, Paul does not exhort them to pursue a vocation outside the home, nor does he exhort them regarding how they should labor outside the home if indeed pursue this. It is reasonable to think that his exhortations are rooted in the reality that women were indeed forsaking the home for some other area of labor, ministry, or perhaps just laziness. He explicitly calls women to the care of the home. I have heard more than once someone say rather accusingly, "Pastor Erik, you don't believe a woman should work outside the home." That may or may not be true (for the most part, especially where young children are in the home, or where there are not significant financial exigencies, it is true). The question is of not fundamental importance if I believe this or that (of course in a secondary sense it is important, me being a pastor and all). Of fundamental importance is whether you believe this or that, and whether or not that belief is founded on God's Word.

Here are some basic principles that we might glean from these passages, in the broader context of the whole of Scripture dealing with biblical manhood and womanhood:

1. These passages establish that the 'home' is crucial.

The home is a place that needs labor and care so that it provides a healthy arena for godly marriages, the proper nurture of children, and the work of ministry.. We live in a culture that is calling us all - men, women, and children - away from the home and into the world. God saw the 'home' as a place so vitally important that there should be one giving a 'full time' vocational interest in its maintenance and order. I am taking 'home' to mean more than the physical structure, or 'house'. The 'home' is the laboratory of health and development of so many aspects of our lives, especially for our little ones. The exhortation, you'll observe, is to the younger women, those who have the needs of children before them, or those who should be considering the blessing of children and family.

2. The vocation of 'home making' is noble.

The work and management of the home is a lofty and high calling. The nurture of chidren in the context of a believing home is of inestimable value to the kingdom of God and the blessing of culture and society. We should be careful not to denigrate this calling and duty as ignoble, not worthwhile, or demeaning. Recently a young woman told me that she doesn't want to just have babies, change diapers, and make dinner for a husband. I hear this sentiment a lot. I often try to graciously point out how grateful I am that my mother carried me for nine months and did not abort me, changed my diapers and did not let me sit in poop and pee all day long, and made the dinner table a place of good food, good fellowship, and love rather than a fast food drive-thru. As lowly and mundane as these duties may seem from our perspective, the care and grace of a mother in the doing of them is so important to our little ones and our homes.

3. The home and its work should be a priority for both men and women.

It should be a priority for men as they work hard to provide for the financial and material needs of the home. It should be a priority for men as they balance the demands of their work in provision with the emotional and spiritual needs of their wives and children that is also their calling to provide. So, do not forsake the material needs of the home- work hard and pay the mortgage. Do not forsake the spiritual needs of the home- work hard, but come home and wrestle with the kids, (and, of course, wrestle with your wife later on in the evening- can I get an Amen?), lead devotions at the table, and do the dishes . This is a hard line to walk. But, men, walk it we must.

It should be a priority for women as they receive the unique gifting and calling of God to bear and nurture children. God created women with the ability to bear children. Women are uniquely gifted to nurture children in those most crucial stages of childhood development (the natural ability that Tori has to soothe and feed our babies from her own body is a gift of God to our children and to her). In these passages it is the women who are called to be 'workers' and 'managers' of the home, not the men. This is worth noting. This vocation is given by God to women, naturally through childbirth, early nurturing, and general inclinations to care giving that seem to be 'hard wired' into women by God. The reversal of this calling- from women to men, which is increasingly common today, is generally not healthy for children, is generally not natural to biblical masculinity, and finds little to no warrant in Scripture.

[Another more distinctly theological argument may be made which would assert that to reverse these roles in the home is also a refusal to deal redemptively and faithfully with the curse of the fall (cf. Genesis 3:16-19). Pain and abor outside the home - in the field in the ancient near eastern context, in the office in our contemporary context- is part of the curse that MEN bear. Pain and labor in childbirth and in the raising of children is part of the curse that WOMEN bear. We must be careful not to shirk our responsibilities in these areas and so refuse the blessing that God brings in our faithfulness to His redemptive plan as we bear the burden of the curse. In many homes we have infinite frustration as two partners bear the burden of the curse upon men- while our children languish as no one bears the curse that would bring them blessing. This could take more fleshing out, but I'll leave it at that for now.]

4. The home is the domain of the woman.

The passage in Titus 2 says that the woman should be the the 'oikourgous'- the worker of the home. The passage in 1 Timothy 5 says that the woman is to be the 'oikodespotein'- the ruler of the house. A great picture in Scripture of the woman who 'rules her house' is in Proverbs 31:10-31. The 'home making' enterprise may reach, in fact should reach, much farther than the walls of her house. It is an entrepeneurial enterprise. It takes great wisdom, skill, grace, care, strength, and love. Proverbs 31, along with these passages of the Pastoral Epistles, reveal that the woman is divinely called to this labor, and the women of God in the church should be laboring to call, equip, and encourage other women in this vocation of 'seeing well to the needs of her home'. The wise husband, though bearing ultimately the responsibility for his family, marriage, his children, and his home, will charge his wife to take control of the home, and move aside so she may do it. Tori runs our budget, she gives me 'honey-do' lists, fixes the calendar of our family life, keeps me accountable in the spiritual duties I bear in our family and marriage. I gladly surrender this domain to her and marvel at her manifold gifts, talents, and hard work in accepting the call.

5. The home and its life is of critical importance to the Church and its life.

It is a dangerous thing for a pastor to meddle in such things. I write all this with fear and trembling. I know that many will be angry with me and think me a fool. I know that there are many folks who struggle with these decisions with great anxiety and pain due to the nature of their circumstances. I know that for many to take heed to these passages would mean to change the whole trajectory of their plans and dreams regarding their lives. I know that these aren't 'black and white' issues. There is a good bit of grey here. What about single women? What about married women without children? What about single moms? What about families with great financial burdens that need two incomes to survive? What about women with grown children?
I believe that there are answers to such questions. But they must be answered in the context of careful study of the Word, with wise and experienced counsel, with prayer and petitions, and with great caution and care. The Apostle sees these issues as important enough to exhort Pastor Timothy and Pastor Titus to get into it with their people.

Why is this? Because the health of the church is wrapped up in the health of the home. Paul is very concerned with the home life of the leaders of the church over in 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1. The decisions, labors, and care of a man in his home will be indicative of the decisions, labors and care of a man in his church, 'the family of God' (1 Timothy 3:4-5). In the New Testament, the home and the family are the main sphere of ministry and outreach. The local churches met in homes (Rom.16:5;1 Cor. 16:19;Col.4:15;Phile 1:2). The bulk of pastoral care and teaching was from 'home to home' (Acts 2:46-47; 20:20). The attack of Satan would come as false teachers proceed from 'home to home' (2 Tim. 3:6-7; Acts 8:3). As the home is the cornerstone of any healthy society, so is the spiritual health of the home the cornerstone of the spiritual health of the church.

We cannot ignore the immense secular forces at work in our culture today that are challenging the biblical call to build healthy and godly marriages, families, and churches. These forces are by and large calling men and women to the altars of personal reputation, vocational identity, opulence, comfort, and power. There is a push toward a secular, radical feminism on many fronts in our culture- our homes, our schools, the workplace, and sadly the church. The sacrifices we must offer up to the gods of this age are often those things that God's Word calls us to pursue and press toward for His glory and our good. There is a duty of pastors, elders, godly older women, and the whole assembly of God's people to fight the impulses and forces of the age and continually return to the standard of God's Word. Let's fight that fleshly, worldly, and dare I say, Satanic desire to ask, "Hath God really said?" and rather embrace the design of God for our marriages, our homes, our churches, and our very lives.

Soli Deo Gloria

Anne Graham Lotz' Shallow Egalitarianism

Recently, Anne Graham Lotz (daughter of renowned evangelist Billy Graham) was given the opportunity to offer up a guest editorial for the Washington Post. What a wonderful opportunity this was for one who loves Christ to speak out on issues facing us from a biblical perspective! The editorial did indeed deal with an issue that is critical to Christians and non-Christians alike, though it sadly presented a position that was far from the true biblical perspective. Ms. Lotz addressed the issue of gender distinctions in the bible, presenting to the readers of the Post the standard egalitarian line. You can read the editorial over at the Washington Post’s website:
http://newsweek.washingtonpost.com/onfaith/guestvoices/2007/01/biblical_record_is_clear_god_c.htmlThough

I’m sure that this editorial did not intend to present an exhaustive or even halfway thorough examination of this issue, it does present some standard arguments for an increasingly ‘egalitarian’ evangelicalism. Parsing out Ms. Lotz’ opinion is a helpful exercise in refuting what might be called rather shallow arguments against a complementarian view of male and female roles in the home and the church.

Lotz makes some bold statements about men and women. These statements flow from her fundamental commitment which might be distilled to these three points: 1) there was no pre-fall created order or distinction in role and authority between the sexes; 2) sin created such destructive hierarchical distinctions between the sexes; 3) Jesus abolished such sinful distinctions in role and function and restored the pre-fall order which exists (or at least, should, in the minds of egalitarians) in the church today.
Let's look at this argument in greater detail:

Premise # 1. There was no pre-fall created order or distinction in role and authority between the sexes.

'God created men and women equal. Period' the article says. And here is the fundamental problem. There is a basic non sequitur in the argument. To make distinctions in role and function does not follow biblically from a refusal to admit equality. Students of Scripture have for centuries affirmed an 'ontological' equality between men and women as made in God's image while upholding an 'economic' distinction- or a distinction of order and function between men and women as a pre fall (and, therefore, good) establishment. There can be no doubt of equality from Genesis 1:27, "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." But, we must ask, why the distinctions in name? Why must there be men? Why must there be women? Lotz rather brashly ignores the very important passage over in Genesis 2 in understanding the pre-fall establishment of role and function in the garden, "But for Adam there was not a helper fit for him" (2:20). Why is she the 'ezer', or helper, and not the man? Is such a distinction in role automatically a refusal to accept equality. Obviously not, if we are to be faithful to Scripture.

In the long lists of proof texts for a rather shallow egalitarian argument we find no mention of Paul's provocative (and post-Jesus) statement touching on this very question, "For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor" (1 Timothy 2:13-14). Ah, this must be the patriarchal and chauvinistic Paul (who rears his ugly head just a few verses later in the distinctions between men and women in church office- 1 Tim 3:2 and Titus 1:6; and in his weird statements about wearing doilies on your head in 1 Cor. 11; and over in his discussion of men and women in marriage in Ephesians 5:22-33 and Colossians 3:18-19; and it must be this bad Paul who influenced the chauvinistic Peter over in 1 Peter 3:1-7). Don't we prefer the more egalitarian Paul of Galatians 3:28-29? Yes, but only if you seek to pit Scripture against Scripture and arbitrarily affirm your view of Scripture based on a cultural prejudice (whether it be an egalitarian or a complementarian prejudice).

There is a better way. It is to affirm equality (Gen. 1:27, Gal.3:28) while affirming God created order and distinctions (Gen. 2:20; 1 Cor. 11:3; 1 Tim 2:11-14). It is called 'complementarianism'. Men and women are created equally in being (ontology) as image bearers and are created functionally different in order to bring glory to God in their complementary roles and functions as distinctly male and female.Such an affirmation is difficult in our upside down world. Such an affirmation is difficult if you refuse to accept the whole counsel of God, not just a choice few Scriptures that jive with the increasing cultural and ecclesiastical pressures bearing in on us.

Premise #2. Sin created such destructive hierarchical distinctions between the sexes.

As I pointed out above, there clearly is some sort of distinction between the sexes that is pre-fall and part of the glorious and good created order. The bible affirms a headship in the clear functional or economic distinction set forth when God creates woman from man, to be a 'helpmeet suitable for him'. It is not the other way around, however we would like to say so- it was not man made from woman to be a helpmeet suitable for him. And to say that economic or functional subordination between equals is necessarily sinful is to deny the glorious subordination of the Son to the Father in the Godhead. It is also to denigrate the glorious work of Christ who came to serve not to be served. It is to accept a cultural framework of rights and power that is unbiblical and fundamentally unhealthy, and that is itself destructive.Women are able to display glorious theological truths in their submission to husbands in the home and male leaders in the church. Women are able to display the very image of Christ in their functional complement to men in the created order. If one believes that service, submission, and deference to another's divinely appointed authority is weakness, sin, and destruction per se- then, sadly, I believe they do not know their bibles nor do they have the mind of Christ on this crucial issue.

Premise #3. Jesus abolished such sinful distinctions for the church.

Let's just consider some Scriptures that are strangely absent as this point is made in Ms. Lotz' argument:
1 Timothy 2:11 A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. 12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent. 13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve. 14 And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner. 15 But women will be saved through childbearing-- if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety.
Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for ...33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Colossians 3:18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
1 Corinthians 11:3 Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.
1 Peter 3:1 Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives...6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

Now, of course there are exegetical issues to be faced in these passages as in all of Scripture. But, we must honestly say that for one to claim that Jesus abolished such ‘role’ distinctions is to ignore these straightforward Apostolic exhortations in Scripture, or pit the testimony of the broad scope of the New Testament against Jesus. And both of these things are done in the more liberal quarters of egalitarianism. But this cannot and should not be done by faithful evangelicals who affirm the inerrancy of Scripture. So, in order to preserve some modicum of trust in the Scriptures, the current evangelical arguments which deny its rather plain reading in the above passages require a lot of hermeneutical hoop jumping and double talk.

The call of God’s Word is to affirm the biblical portrait of equality while embracing biblically distinct masculinity and feminity. This is for our good and to God’s glory. What God has set forth as good and glorious should not be the cause of so much double talk and equivocation in the public square. The call for Christians is to model a manhood and womanhood that is established by the Scriptures and which is not merely the product of our fleeting, and crippling, cultural consensus.

Bayly on "Marriage, Student Debt, and Motherhood"

Click on the Baylyblog link to the right and read todays post, "Woman's Glorious Vulnerability". It is an excellent discussion of the vocation of motherhood and the conflicts this presents to Christian young women who are drawn by the world into graduate study (at significant cost) into the workforce (at an even more significant cost) and away from their children. Be sure to read his previous post, "Marriage, Student Debt, and Motherhood" which is linked for you.

I intend to post on this issue of 'motherhood' and working outside the home in the near future. Join the discussion.

Modesty, anyone? Please?

Well, I am not on campus all that often, but I have a board meeting that takes me down there at least monthly. I can also be found eating b'fast with some droopy eyed college student at Jim and Milts- or grabbing some study time at s'bux on Tennessee. Well, here's the deal - my meeting was down there on Pensacola, a one way street, so I inevitably get lost and disoriented and wind up driving around endlessly in circles with a dazed look on my face.

Adding to my disorientation is the reality that most of the young ladies on campus are wearing hardly any clothes.

Ok, now, I know you are falling over in your chair, reeling from the shock that this man of the cloth (he he, get it?) is aware of the profound lack of attire that seems to be epidemic on campus (and all over our community these days). And you are further shocked that I would admit such an awareness in a public forum. Look, I am not a lecherous perv, flustered at the mere sight of ankle flesh. Nor am I some prudish puritan who wants our young ladies going from class to class in a moo moo or a tater sack. But people, this was ridiculous. One young woman was walking along self consciously pulling her skirt (or half a dish towel, whatever you want to call it) down to keep from mooning all those waiting for the light to turn.

But, you're right, these are modern days and modern women. "And, Erik," you reply, "what do you expect? These aren't Christian women." I respond: is this the product of our three decades of feminist indoctrination? Thousands of young woman reduced to walk the campus with their bodies on display for frat boy joe- and some unsuspecting minister? Or, perhaps this is a bizarre Camille Pagliaesque feminine empowerment fantasy come true- the enslavement of the fleshly, lustful hoardes by scantily clad goddesses? Hmmm. Doubtful. But, whatever helps us sleep at night.

Now, most of you folks reading this are believers in Christ Jesus. And the deal is, as in so many things, the church is really not all that different than the culture. In a church family with a ton of college kids, I must admit that I have regularly been pretty embarassed by the almost non-existent skirts, skin tight cleavage bearing tops, etc. and so forth. And the same goes for our daughters in high school. Sometimes I truly have to wonder where Dad is when little Sally walks out the door practically in stripper garb.

Here's the deal- we are created in God's image, for His glory. Our bodies are to be treated with modesty, with special care, as we would with any gift of such worth. It is the work of the world, the flesh, and the devil to crassly objectify these bodies intended for good and glory, turning them into pieces of flesh for our own selfish desires, lustful designs, or perverse drive for adulation and attention. You are bought at a price, so glorify God with your body. You were bought at a price, do not become the slaves of men. (1 Cor. 6:20; 7:23) The apostle also says, "The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife." This means that the gift of sexual intimacy and the marital enjoyment of each other's body is threatened and weakened by "the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boastful pride of life" (1 John 2:16).

Sisters in Christ, when you parade your bodies for the sake of your own pride or the cravings of sinful men, you dishonor God who made you for Himself, not the vanity of the mirror, or the lustful gaze of men. You also cheapen the precious gift of your body to your husband alone for sexual joy in marriage.

Brothers, you bear a great burden in the destructive immodesty of the age with your lust for pornography and crass public objectification of women. So many of us are living without restraint and accountability in our relationships, and are badgering and objectifying our sisters in these relationships with unrealistic expectations of beauty and 'sexual' allure.

So, men turn your eyes away from that which is not yours. Turn your eyes toward your God, and his gift of marriage for the satisfaction of your sexual needs.

Women, adorn yourselves with "proper clothing, modestly and discreetly. . . by means of good works, as befits women making a claim to godliness."

Can I get an 'Amen'?!

Women in Combat

I have had this question posed to many times, "Do you believe women should serve in active combat duty in the armed forces?"

I really can't answer the question better than the Council for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood does here: http://www.cbmw.org/resources/articles/combat.php

Please read the full reasoning of the article.

Note the resolutions presented by the Council, with which I am in essential agreement:

Therefore, be it RESOLVED, that we do, with loyal respect and deep concern, warn against and oppose the opening of military combat service to females: because it rejects gender-based distinctions established by God in the order of creation; because it undermines male headship in the family by failing to recognize the unique gender-based responsibility of men to protect women and children; and because it subordinates the combat readiness of American troops, and the national security of the United States, to the unbiblical, utopian, social agenda of ideological feminism; and

Be it finally RESOLVED, that we call upon the President of the United States, each Senator and Representative of the United States Congress, and all military leaders to reverse the present policy and to reinstate the historic limitation of military combat service to males only.

The Wisdom of Starbucks

I know, I know, I am a total corporate sell out. But the coffee is so good!

So, I'm sitting on a date with Tori and I glance at the cup in my hand (venti extra shot americano with vanilla). The Starbucks gods make our caffeine charged outing an evening of social enlightenment by putting little nuggets of wisdom from this or that muckity muck on the side of the cup. (I hear the inimitable Rev. Warren even got a blurb. Yes, yes, I've sent one in and it is in production. Patience, dear ones.)

Here's the one that brought us some precious awareness last night:


"According to the Federal Reserve Bank, $1 spent on excellent preschool education saves $7 in special education, social service and future incarceration costs more than a dozen years later. Are we, as citizens, willing to elect government leaders who spend our taxes on something that offers a return so far in the future? I hope so."

-- Rob Waldron
President and CEO of Jumpstart, a national nonprofit early education organization.

Let's think about this for a moment. What is 'preschool education'? This used to be called 'daycare'. And, government sponsored babysitting certainly doesn't have the same ring. Oh well, whatever helps us get through the night.

You know what we need to learn to do these days? We need to ask the right questions. The ones that Mr. Waldron and the Starbucks propagandists don't want you to ask. Questions that can't be quantified with such powerful, albeit crudely utilitarian, statistics as provided by the Federal Reserve Bank.

Questions like:

What is happening to our little ones that we must provide this 'preschool education'?
What cruel forces are at work conspiring against our 3 mos - 4 year olds today that would necessitate such 'special education', 'social service', and 'future incarceration'?
Why is it that when we hear of such grievous ills facing our children 12 years down the road, we somehow feel better that big brother is throwing our tax dollars at the problem while we enjoy our $5 latte?
Where are the mothers of these little ones?
Where are their fathers?
Where are their pastors?
What is happening in our culture that our babies are abandoned, only to be swooped up by the loving arms of government funded, state sponsored daycare?
Why do we deem such remedies as acceptable, laudable, or even preferrable to the God ordained relationships built into human society to nurture and care for children?
If $1 today keeps them out of jail in twelve years, how many dollars would it take to make them whole, balanced, loved, confident, learned, aware, joyful, and hopeful?

I didn't say I had all the answers.

I just wanted to make sure that we keep asking some of the right questions.

In Loving Submission. . .

I had an interesting ‘pastoral’ experience last week that I just had to blog about. I will be marrying a young couple in our fellowship this coming May (actually, on May 20, which happens to be Tori’s and my 11th anniversary!). The bride is from another town where she grew up in a United Methodist Church. In order to honor her family and her upbringing in this church, the plan was to use their sanctuary for the service while having me preside over the ceremony. Some weeks ago the pastor of this Methodist church informed the bride to be that he was concerned about the order of service that I might use and that he might need to check out the wording of the service. He was especially concerned that there would be a distinction made in the vows, charge to the couple, etc. of male and female roles in marriage. I sent him the wording of the service I would be generally following. In the bride’s vows to the groom she is to say, “And I promise to honor you in loving submission” (the groom says to the bride, “And I promise to love you as Christ loves the Church”).

As you may have predicted, the pastor emailed me stating that he could not allow the term ‘submission’ to be used in a wedding service in his church with many of his congregants present as it reflected a position regarding marriage and gender that differed from his own and that of his denomination. I replied that, while I respect his authority over his congregation and his desire to guard the teaching that comes from his pulpit, I was constrained before God to call those under my charge (specifically, the bride and groom; generally, all those who hear me preach and teach regardless of who their pastor is or where they go to church, or in what building I happen to be in) to obey God’s Word. I told him that I most certainly would not remove the word ‘submission’ from the vows, nor would I ignore the clear teaching of Scripture regarding the role distinctions between the sexes during a service of worship to God celebrating the gift of marriage. We traded emails back and forth and I was gently beseeched to supplant one word or another for ‘submission’. I told him that the word ‘submission’ is a very important word, because it is the word that the Spirit of God has given us (repeatedly) to describe the relationship and duty of a wife toward her husband. Just as it was important to him that this word be removed, I saw it as critically important that this word remain. See, words are important, no matter what our postmodern theologians keep telling us!

Well, all of this was very unsettling for the poor bride and groom to be. Plans had been made, invitations had been sent out, all the money had been spent. Now we have this young, upstart quasi-fundamentalist pastor standing on the rock of inerrancy and biblical complementarianism unwilling to budge battling it out with the mainline denominational quasi-liberal riding the waves of postmodern hermeneutics and egalitarianism (though after more and more of these emails, I am convinced he is just a plain ole liberal – and yes, he would say that I am just plain ole fundamentalist). Yikes. There would be confused parents, irritated parishioners, and arrogant nay-sayers. But, both of them are committed believers, committed to God’s Word, and committed to God’s vision for marriage revealed in the Word. Yet this little culture war being waged in the midst of their marriage preparation was very unsettling, to say the least.

In Loving Submission. . .part two

Here is an email I sent to the bride to be regarding the whole battle over words, gender roles, pastoral authority, and, well, their own marriage:

Dear Kelly,

I wanted to take a moment and try, perhaps feebly, to encourage you on a day that I am sure has been rather disheartening to you. In the midst of these “momentary troubles” (2 Cor. 4:17) we need to sit for a moment and capture the promise that they are indeed achieving some eternally weighty glory.

Weddings are important things. They are important because marriage is important. Marriage is important because God made it and called it good. God made it and called it good so that he would be honored and glorified in it. Paul tells us that marriage profoundly and mysteriously points us to the relationship of Jesus and his people. And so we look at how Jesus loves and leads his people, and we tell husbands to imitate him as he loves and leads his wife. Then we tell our children, our neighbors, our brothers and sisters to look upon godly husbands and remember Jesus’ love for us. We look at how the Church is to submit to her Savior’s headship, obedient to his gracious care, and we tell wives to imitate the Church as she submits and follows her husband. Then we tell our children, our neighbors, our brothers and sisters to look upon godly wives and remember that God is in charge, that he opposes the proud and exalts the humble, that his power is manifested in our weakness. In this, somehow (it is a profound mystery!) God’s plan to exalt himself in the death and resurrection of his Son, to redeem humanity, to restore fallen-ness with Spirit led sanctification is painted for us in marriage.

The thing is, Satan hates that picture. The World hates that picture. Our flesh hates that picture. Satan will spread lies about marriage, he will say things like, “Has God really said?” Or, “well, you and I, and all those who really understand the Bible know that the Apostle Paul didn’t really mean what it most certainly looks like he said.” The World will say, “Don’t make issues about words” or “people will be confused” or “this all sounds so archaic and intolerant” or this, or that. Our flesh says, “I want a pretty wedding”, or “I can’t go through this fight right now”, or “I don’t want to look stupid”, or “can’t we just fudge here so that things will go smoothly?”. [Realize, Kelly, I’m not accusing you of these statements…they have all bounced around in my head!] And all this wages war with the Spirit and seeks to stand in the straight path as we walk in the Spirit.

Your whole marriage will be a fight against the world, the flesh, and the devil. For some reason, God has given you a skirmish to deal with here in the last two months before you get married. I believe that God wants to bless you in this. You’re getting a glimpse of some really powerful spiritual struggles going on in our churches and in our culture. In some ways, it shouldn’t surprise us, especially at such an important time in your life and in such an important worship event as your wedding service. The glorious thing is, as God promises to illustrate profound mysteries in your submission to Josh and in his love and leadership of you; so will God illustrate these mysteries in your fight to honor His Word and design in your marriage ceremony.

And so, I will do whatever it takes as your pastor to make this ceremony something that honors God and brings you joy! Don’t let the sin of others, the strategies of Satan, the clamor of the world, or the weakness of the flesh rob you of the joy of honoring God with your marriage. That goes for today, and for every day God gives you and Josh together.

Believing an Eternal Glory will Come from this Momentary Trouble,

Pastor Erik

In Loving Submission. . . part three

And what happened?

That is the great part. I called a PCA church around the corner from this Methodist Church that I knew might be sympathetic. They were ready and willing to help, and offered us the use of their church if we were left without a place to have this service! It turns out that an associate pastor of this PCA church actually lives next door to the bride's parents! Though the parents were a bit bothered at first by my unwillingness to fudge a bit on the word 'submission', they soon came around as they considered Scripture and the nature of this whole situation. It turns out we will be using this other church, and everything is ok.

I wanted to share the emails that Josh and Kelly sent to me (and Paul Gilbert, a Four Oaks pastor doing their premarital counseling).


OK, my mom and dad are in. Mainly because [they] read what God's PERFECT word said this morning about submission and she would be in agreement with us, and wants our vows to reflect God and to glorify and honor Him.

Your email meant a lot to me yesterday and helped put things once again into perspective. There was a HUGE battle going on yesterday within me, so it is funny because all the statements you made were lies flooding my brain. So to be reminded that things like this will happen especially in light of such a special time makes sense and keeps me from dwelling and eventually believing those lies.

This whole situation is becoming funny to me, and exciting because I just have no idea what is going to happen. I truly appreciate your help in everything and it is actually a great sense of relief because now we have freedom in what we want to say before our Father, family and friends!

In Christ,
Kelly


We have been so blessed these last 24 hours as we have seen friends, family and OUR church rally around us in their love, support and prayers! We quickly realized yesterday that this situation was so much BIGGER than "changing a word." We know that to stand on the slippery slope of changing words can only lead to disaster! Though [the pastor of the church in question], informed Kelly and I that he feels we have an "unhealthy view of marriage" (guess you are not doing your job Paul!), I believe that God has used and will use this trial to stenghthen our marriage in so many ways. I believe we are seeing Ephesians 5 played out in a VERY tangible and real way!
As I walked Kelly to her door last night, she told me it meant so much to her that I loved her so well through the day as I held her (numerous times) in my arms to cry, as I was patient with her and her parents, and as I even made the phone call the Pastor on her behalf -- she felt my intense love for her yesterday! And on the other side of that I told her how I felt that we had been thrown onto a "battlefield of truth" and as I made the decision to take I stand on what I believe to be TRUE of the Word of God and Christian marriage and not compromise, I looked to my side and there Kelly stood..."submitting" to my decision, even though the easy road was an option!
This is why we can TOGETHER say "Praise God -- He is good in all things!" So, again I just wanted to say thanks to both of you for your prayers and standing firmly with us in this. Paul asked us yesterday how the church could encourage us and come along side of us (in general)...well, I would say you are doing and have done that well. Thank you...

Bound to His Word

Josh and Kelly

Why blog on all this? First, to remind you of the battle that is being fought in every corner over the truth of God's Word. Secondly, to remind you of the battle that is being waged against the design of God for the roles of men and women in marriage. And thirdly, to remind you that God will bless you and provide for you as you stand upon the truth of His Word and hold fast to its teaching regarding ALL of life.

On Manliness in a Feminized Culture...

I was done with my sermon and caught the tail end of an interview with Harvey Mansfield, professor of Government at HAH-vahd (if your from BAHstahn) on his recent book, Manliness. Prof. Mansfield was being grilled by none other than the paragon of feminist virtue, Naomi Wolf. She poked and prodded, scoffed and cajoled, but her subject seemed unflappable. He seemed, well, 'manly', I suppose.

Here is the description of Harvey Mansfield given by Gwen Ifill of the PBS Online Newshour:
Harvey Mansfield came to Harvard 50 years ago as a freshman and never left. As a professor of government he's made a name for himself as an expert on de Tocqueville and Machiavelli. But he is also deeply involved in shaping modern conservative political thought. He has had the ear of Presidents Ford, Reagan and Bush, and from his perch at Harvard he has often been at the center of campus debate, arguing against affirmative action, multiculturalism, feminism and academic grade inflation.

I'm sure that Ms. Ifill gave those credentials with a smirk and a roll of the eyes. But he sounds worth listening to in my book.

I commend an interesting article from The American Enterprise by Prof. Mansfield regarding manliness in our culture: http://www.taemag.com/issues/articleid.17576/article_detail.asp

Ben Stein has a great article on Men and Cars in the same issue. I drive a '97 Isuzu Oasis minivan. Fully loaded. (2 car seats, dual window shades, 4 sippee cup holders, action figures and strange little pink haired ponies strewn about the floorboards). It takes a REAL MAN to drive that thing with pride baby!

Mothers, who's your daddy...

...this decaying culture or our Heavenly Father? The winds of our culture, so cruel indeed to mothers and children, are dashing biblical motherhood against the rocks of our own greed and self absorbtion.
Pastor Tim Bayly's blog points us to this great article in the Guardian. Check it out http://www.guardian.co.uk/Columnists/Column/0,,1725350,00.html, and check out BaylyBlog as well http://timbayly.worldmagblog.com/timbayly/.

An Excellent Wife

Valentine’s Day has come and gone again. I truly hope that all you men under my watch at Four Oaks Church did your best to honor and bless your wives with a good dose of romance. I know, I know, isn’t this just another day for the retailers to gouge us? $29.99 for twelve sad looking roses with a rubber band tied around the stems is a rip off no matter how you look at it. So buy your wife roses some other day. That is a pretty tired gift anyway, at least for Valentine’s day. Nothing spells love and romance like stopping at Publix on the way home from work.

Some of you are gifted in working with your hands. Make your wife some gift where she is able to see that you labored and toiled with your hands and your heart on her behalf. Are you a geek? Make a special website filled with pictures and neat stuff just for her. Are you handy? Take a whole day and work around the house fixing all the things that need to be fixed. Maybe you have no skills around the house, like me. Just washing and detailing the family van so that your wife doesn’t have to pluck stale old French fries off her skirt as she gets out of the car for church Sunday means a lot. Think about it. Your marriage, her sanity, and your sex lives depend on it.

For Tori this Valentine’s Day I spent some time writing a history of our lives together. No, you don’t get to read any of it - and if you want to, you really need to get a life.

This little history was a great thing for my own heart. It stirred up all those memories, all those wonderful times together, the powerful infatuation of a young college boy for this beautiful girl.

I was only a year into my undergrad studies when I began to heed a very strong call to pastoral ministry in the local church. Being a preacher’s kid myself, I knew how crucial it is to the ‘success’ of a man’s ministry as shepherd in the flock of God to have an ‘excellent wife’ and raise together believing children. In this postmodern feminizing culture, I knew as well that finding a woman who would be committed to marriage and the home as a noble calling and virtuous vocation would be a tall order. I began praying earnestly for a godly woman to come alongside me in this calling.

Tori and I were musing together about how much we have both changed as we considered our 12 year history. You can see the change in me by looking at the old pictures. I tell Tori, and everyone else, that she is married to twice the man I was back then! [My increasing waistline is a testimony to her wifely care of me! I also kid that if I don’t continue in chubbiness, I would be irresistible to the ladies. I don’t want to cause them to stumble. This is a joke.]

All kidding aside, I have seen God do such a wondrous work in and through this extraordinary woman!

When I met her, Tori was like so many other young Christian women in college today. Tori truly loved the Lord, but was confused as to what His will was for her. She struggled with the pressing issues of the day, the overwhelming cultural pressures to be a professional, to be liberated from the shackles of traditional patriarchal paradigms in the academy, workplace, church and home. But in examining this beckoning brave new world, she was struggling to deal honestly with the Scripture’s teaching about true femininity, the calling of motherhood, the nature of submission and headship. We would have a lot of long and difficult conversations about these things early on. I love to kid her about some of her life’s plans and goals back then. I remember she told me that she would not be married and begin having kids until she was 30 and had already begun and stabilized a thriving career. I now like to remind her that she was a housewife living in a Tallahassee suburb with two kids before she turned 30!

Those of you that know Tori might be surprised by her early goals. But isn’t this standard fare being thrust into the hearts of our young women? There is a constant yet sometimes subtle denigration of motherhood as a vocation and homemaking as a noble and full time duty. There is the elevation of professional vocations outside the home at the cost of having children, or at least nurturing them as God intends. There is the mounting greed and materialism of our culture that demands we drive the best cars, and have at least two or three of them, the best homes, the best clothes, the best vacations, and all of this at the cost of building nurturing environments in the home where intimacy, love, joy, and time is available to the humans living there.

Tori and I began to discover together the rich truths of God in His Word concerning her identity as a woman, my identity as a man, and the great blessing of biblical marriages and homes. Tori is a strong woman. This doesn’t keep her from being submitted to me. Her strength before God actually enables her to submit to this flawed man! Tori is a smart woman. She has a degree in nutrition and food science from the University of Florida. She was a bright and gifted dietician. This doesn’t keep her from the mundane daily duties of building a home and caring for our little ones. I saw her give birth to three babies, one of them eleven pounds. I almost fainted. I watch her exhibit an almost supernatural patience with our little ones. She is patient with me as I devote long hours to the care of the church, to writing sermons, and staying up late agonizing over church duties. I watch her make do with our little home, making it a warm and inviting place. This takes care, ingenuity, wisdom. She is frugal. She is a good steward of the resources God gives us. She is longsuffering with me. I am impetuous, she is calm and thoughtful. I am overly sensitive, she is rational and gracious. She sees all the worst of a church with me, and begs me to stay the course for Christ. She is a lover of truth. She is committed to God’s Word. In my eyes, she has no equal.

I recently read the credentials of the wife of one of my former seminary profs, Dr. James. Actually, Dr. Frank James is now the president of Reformed Theological Seminary/Orlando. His wife is now an author and ‘international speaker’. Interestingly, his wife, Carolyn, was in a Sunday School class at St. Paul’s Presbyterian Church I taught while in seminary at RTS/Orlando. Her credentials read:

Carolyn is her husband’s favorite theologian. She is not a kitchen wife. She
does not keep house, cook clean or sew, but she reads an awful lot and often talks to women (and sometimes men) from all over the world about women’s struggles within the evangelical church. Lately, she has been reading a lot on the plight of women in the Middle East. She helped Synergy Conferences for women seminarians and women in vocational ministries, which is sponsored by her ministry organization, Whitby Forum, in alliance with Campus Crusade for Christ International and RTS/Orlando.

These credentials made me sad and angry. I am sad that we have a ‘leading evangelical’ that would glory in refusing the biblical exhortation to women to be ‘builders of the home’. I also am grieved that the wonderful labors of my ‘kitchen wife’ are cast aside as unimportant to the real work of real women, like ‘reading an awful lot’. I am so thankful for my wife’s sacrifice of her ‘reading time’ so that my children will learn to read at her feet. I am so glad for my wife’s sacrifice of her ‘conference schedule’ to change little Emma’s diapers and nurse her five times a day. I am thankful that my wife sacrifices opportunities to teach men and humbly submits herself to this one. I am angry that her labors, that I am convinced are thoroughly biblical and God glorifying, would be so cynically dismissed by one who should be an ‘older woman’ and should be ‘teaching what is good’.

I am becoming increasingly convinced that the world will always denigrate what the Bible lauds as excellent. And it will take great fortitude, true wisdom, and an unwavering commitment to the whole counsel of God’s Word to maintain a solid grasp on those things that are truly excellent.

So, this Valentine’s Day, I am eternally thankful for the gift of God to me in my excellent wife. I only hope that I might one day be as excellent a husband!

Some Quotes on Manhood and Womanhood

“What I have to say is not validated by my having a graduate degree or a position on the faculty or administration of an institution of higher learning. It comes not from any set of personal tastes and preferences. It is not a deduction from my own genetic leanings or temperament. Instead, it is what I see as the arrangement of the universe and the full harmony and tone of Scripture. This arrangement is a glorious hierarchical order of graduated splendor, beginning with the Trinity, descending through seraphim, cherubim, archangels, angels, men, and all lesser creatures, a mighty universal dance, choreographed for the perfection and fulfillment of each participant.”
- Elizabeth Eliot

“Tell me what the world is saying today and I’ll tell you what the church will be saying seven years from now.”
-Francis Schaeffer

We should find in Christianity and the Church “an element that unbelievers will call irrational and believers will call supra-rational. There ought to be something in it opaque to our reason though not contrary to it…if we abandon that, if we retain only what can be justified by standards of prudence and convenience at the bar of enlightened common sense, then we exchange revelation for that old wraith Natural Religion.”
-C.S. Lewis

“One day I was privileged to sit at the table next to Mother Teresa of Calcutta. I had long admired her and her work with the destitute and dying in Calcutta and throughout the world. The Capitol Hill luncheon in her honor was held in the ornately decorated Senate caucus room in the Russell Building. As she entered, she seemed dwarfed by the enormity of the room. She was even tinier than I had expected. As she walked into the room, clad in a simple blue and white habit, I saw some of the strongest leaders in the world rise to their feet and applaud her with tears in their eyes. They were honored simply to be in her presence. Here was a woman who obviously had tremendous power. She possessed more power than those who walked the marble halls of Congress. She had more power than I had seen in this city of power. “How has she done thing?” I asked myself. She owned nothing, never shook her fist in anger for her rights, and never asked for anything for herself. Instead, she had reached down into the gutter and raised up and loved those the world calls unlovable. And she had done it simply because the poor were created by the God she loves and serves.”
-Dee Jepsen

“Lucille Ball was the first lady of American comedy. Some time before her death she did a remarkable television interview with Merv Griffin, who asked her a very pointed and serious question. “Lucille, you’ve lived a long time on this earth and you are a wise person. What’s happened to our country? What’s wrong with our children? Why are our families falling apart? What’s missing?”
Lucy’s startling yet matter of fact reply came quickly. “Papa’s missing.,” she said.
“Things are falling apart because Papa’s gone. If Papa were here, he would fix it.”
-Weldon Hardenbrook

“The notion of responsibility is at the crux of true fatherhood. The conscious sense of responsibility for the physical and spiritual well being of others is the mark of a true father.”
-Clayton Barbeau

From the beginning of the Industrial revolution, “The groundwork for the 20th century fatherless home was set. By the end of the 19th century for first time it was socially and morally acceptable for men not to be involved with their families.”
-Lawrence Fuchs

“Homemaking is not employment for slothful, unimaginative, incapable women. It has as much challenge and opportunity, success and failure, growth and expansion, perks and incentives, as any corporate career.”
-Dorothy Morrison

“No one can, without renouncing the world, in the most literal sense, observe my method; and there are few, if any, that would entirely devote above twenty years of the prime of life in hopes to save the souls of their children, which they think may be saved without so much ado; for that was my principal intention, however unskillfully and unsuccessfully managed.”
- Susanna Wesley

“Every one is in favor of equal pay, but no one is in favor of doing the dishes.”
-Mary Jo Bane, Wellesley Women’s Research Center

“My career has suffered because of the children and the children have suffered because of my career. I’ve been torn and haven’t been able to function fully in either arena. I don’t know one person who does both successfully, and I know a lot of working mothers.”
- Joanne Woodward

“We have discovered that many of our problems—in children’s and young people’s behavior, in our morals, culture and in production—are partially caused by the weakening of family ties and slack attitude to family responsibilities. This is a paradoxical result of our sincere desire to make women equal with men in everything.” (He added that Russia was looking for ways for women to return “to their purely womanly mission”.)
-Mikhail Gorbechev

Sometimes feminists remind me of little girls standing beneath a boys’ tree hut. Forbidden to enter because they were girls, some of them vowed in their childish hearts that one day they would force their way into that tree hut. Others vowed that when they grew up they would cut down the tree; if they couldn’t play, no one could. Still others became determined that they would never again allow anyone to call them girls. I have to admit that I have been spared this envy because when I was young, I had talked my way into the boys’ tree hut and discovered that nothing all that exciting was happening there.
-Dale O’Leary

It is no accident that the meaning of being a man or being a woman has been radically transformed in a society that celebrates freedom and equality, encourages individualism and autonomy, rejects tradition, practices contraception and abortion, sees marriage as a lifestyle, provides the same education and promotes the same careers for men and
women, homogenizes fathers and mothers in the neutered work of “parenting,” denies vulnerability and dependence, keeps morality out of sight, and raises its children without any sense of duty or obligation to future generations.
- Amy Kass

To be Queen Elizabeth within a definite area, deciding sales, banquets,
labors, and holidays; to be Whitely within a certain area, providing toys, boots, cakes, and books; to be Aristotle within a certain area, teaching morals, manners, theology, and hygiene; I can understand how this might exhaust the mind, but I cannot imagine how it could narrow it. How can it be a large career to tell other people’s children about the Rule of Three, and a small career to tell one’s own children about the universe? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone and narrow to be everything to someone? No, a woman’s function is laborious, but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute.
- G. K. Chesterton

One of the ways I help couples get a handle on leadership is to ask, “Who says, ‘let’s’ more often? The man or the woman?” The man ought to say ‘let’s’ more often: “Let’s talk about the kids, let’s have a state-of our marriage discussion, let’s work on our finances, let’s get things in order in the home, let’s take care of our yard better, let’s consider getting a new car.” If the woman is constantly going to her husband and saying,
“Let’s, let’s, let’s. . . .” and he’s always dragging his feet, not taking the initiative, she’s going to be a very frustrated woman. She should not have to be the one who says ‘let’s.’ The man should be.

I asked Noel at the beginning of our marriage and haveasked her periodically over the last thirty years, “Do you operate happily on the principle that I am generally
the initiative taker in this family? And if we cannot agree on an issue, even after many hours of conversation, will you submit to my judgment?” And she has
said, “Yes.” Now that does not mean that I always invoke that privilege. But it’s crucial that she give it. That’s what submission is. And a good husband, a
good leader, a good lover will often say, “I don’t think we should re-do the bathroom now,” or “I’m not sure we should adopt a child now, but I see where your heart is, and I love to see you flourish. I want to honor your desires, and I believe God is sovereign and will work things out. And for your sake and for your joy, I yield to your choice.” She would have gone either way. She would have let me have it, or she would be happy
to hear me give her this choice. That’s not an abdication of leadership. That’s a servant way of handling leadership. And it’s based on the principle of submission, where she says, “You call the shot, and I’ll be happy with whatever you decide.”
- John Piper

Biblical Manhood and Womanhood

There is a battle raging in the evangelical church (and outside the church, as well) regarding the roles and function of men and women in the home and the church. I want to commend a couple of resources to you to familiarize yourself with the questions and concerns central to this issue.

First, let me say that I am solidly in the 'complementarian' camp. Within evangelicalism there are basically two ways of approaching the issue. The 'complementarian' side would say that men and women are equal as man made in God's image, yet different (or complementary) in their relationship to each other and in their roles in creation, marriage, and the church with men called to headship and authority in the home and church while women are to exercise loving and biblical submission. The clearest and most succinct exposition of the complementarian view may be found in CD format, delivered by Dr. Wayne Grudem at a recent church conference: http://www.sovereigngracestore.com/lecocd.html

The complementarian organization is called 'The Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood' and has an excellent site: http://cbmw.org I strongly suggest clicking on 'gender questions' at the home page for the '50 Crucial Questions' as a primer on the complementarian position.

A tremendous resource with scholarly articles on virtually every issue concerning gender, roles, biblical questions, theological issues is the book called 'Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood' edited by Wayne Grudem and John Piper. I STRONGLY recommend this book. It should be a reference tool on every Christian's shelf.

The other side of the debate within evangelicalism (and I use that term loosely!) is called
'egalitarianism'. This view would say that man and woman are equal and any 'hierarchy' in role and function is a consequence of sin and the fall. Their website is: http://www.cbeinternational.org
I'll let them articulate the position further at that site.

I think this issue, alongside homosexuality and gay marriage, is one of the most important social and pragmatic questions for the postmodern evangelical to answer. The authority of God's Word, His intent in creation, the integrity of the home, and the health of the church are at stake.

So, sharpen your sword, show yourself as one approved, and dig in.